What tha heck is Staphylococcus Aureus?

Published November 13, 2018 by drbeezle

There are some people whose noise can wake the dead. I understand fully that “Man must chop” but can man try not to chop on other people’s gullibility? Maybe if I were not a Doctor, I would not have been this bothered about how these lies are spread. It hurts to see humans fall victims of these hungry opportunists, feeding off people’s unpardonable ignorance; thus, this piece.
I was coming back from work after a rather busy day, when the sleeping giant in me got awoken by the cries of a dwarf that has been disturbing the lives of the people I am meant to be protecting. Like an annoying alarm that keeps snoozing when you just need it to be switched off, it disturbed my peace. Think about the scenario:
I wound up my glass, switched on the air conditioning and put on really loud music in an attempt to drown all external noise; still I could hear it, sipping through the vents. The more I tried to drown it, the less successful I was at it.
The source of the noise was directly in front of me; little wonder I could hear it so clearly, even with the really loud music. I didn’t have to strain my ears before hearing “If you have cough, it is staphylococcus aureus (Kokoro inueje as it is called in Yoruba. Dude pronounced it “airis” by the way)
“If you are infertile, it is staphylococcus aureus
“If you are deaf and dumb from birth, it is staphylococcus aureus” (pun totally intended)
What ‘tha heck’ is this staphylococcus aureus that causes more harm to humanity than the devil himself? If I had listened to the man too much, I might have been forced to believe that even poverty is caused by staphylococcus aureus. He was rather convincing.
He further claims to have a cure to this staphylococcus aureus! Doesn’t that make it a medication that cures everything? Wouldn’t it be nice for people to have such a medication that would have their problems gone forever? Well, just as you could imagine; innocently and desperately, humans walked up to his van and bought his concoction. With the influx of people to his sales point, I was forced to believe the guy sells and makes more money than the doctors, who spend bulk of their lives in medical school.
Driving past his van reminded me of an advert I saw a while back “We cure staphylococcus” I had to ask myself “What exactly is staphylococcus?” Is it the same staphylococcus I know? Or another one that people dread more than death itself.
Is it not this same staphylococcus that we sleep and wake up with? Is it not the same staphylococcus that we put into our mouth each time we eat? Now, this is not to scare you, neither is it to trivialize this beautifully notorious bacterium. Truthfully, staphylococcus can cause some life threatening conditions, but I bet you, his concoction will not cure it.

What the heck is staphylococcus?
It is a bacterium that lives primarily in our bodies. However in some cases, it can cause some diseases, especially when the protective mechanism of the body is compromised; like, when you have a wound on the body that breaks the integrity of your skin. Staphylococcus aureus is a part of your life as a soldier; one of the numerous ones that guard your body. And like one in a company of soldiers, Staphylococcus aureus can go rogue once in a while to cause some symptoms.
Staphylococcus aureus does not however cause fibroid, cancer, tuberculosis, bleeding disorders, infertility, poverty, depression, corruption, suicide and bad roads. If it actually causes all these, I guess the human race would have been wiped out. Therefore, before you sip on that unknown, bitter and nauseous concoction, Ask yourself ‘What da heck is staphylococcus aureus again?!’



Red Cave (Kizil Koba)

Published April 25, 2017 by drbeezle


I love books, I love and appreciate writers and I fully understand the effort that goes into writing books, but as paradoxes go, it is not my usual hobby to sit down and read books. Recently I have been making conscious effort to read books and I must say I am enjoying the process. I hope and pray I am able to keep this up. Anyway, this is not a piece about why you should read books. Maybe when I am better at that, I would be able to help pull out the spec in your eyes; because by then, I won’t feel guilty about the log in mine.

I was reading the book ‘Talent is not enough’ by John C Maxwell (good book). In one of the chapters, he mentioned a number of things about mountain climbing. This brought me memories of my last days in my Alma Mata Crimea State Medical University. My friends and I had planned a couple of things we wanted to do before leaving Crimea; going to the red cave was one of them.
In Crimea, there are many sites you would want to visit; I don’t want to get started on mentioning now, before I start feeling more nostalgic than I already am. I remember when marking the places we wanted to go to in Crimea, we really wanted to visit a water fall – the Uchan-su. It is said to be one of the tallest waterfalls in Europe. Who doesn’t want to be a part of that right?

Anyway, I decided to have a picnic at the red cave with a couple of friends. When we got there, the place was so beautiful and we were so excited. The only bad part was this: The red cave was up a hill or shall I say mountain and we had to walk all the way. We all started the walk up the mountain without a guide. I can’t remember why we didn’t go with a guide; probability is high that we were just being cheap. Who needs a guide when there is a path to follow?
We kept walking up the narrow path that led to the red cave. I wanted to know what it was about the cave that everyone was always talking about. There was no stopping me at this point. In fact, as the chief of the planning committee I encouraged people to move it and move it, until it got to a point that I myself was tired of moving it. It just seemed like the more we climbed up its steep stairs, the farther it became.
We got to a plateau area that had benches; ladies and gentlemen, that was the end of my journey to the red cave.
“I will catch up with you guys soon, just keep going” I told my friends. I remember Femi saying “Ayb, I am sure we are almost there” but I did not listen to him (He cannot comman kill me for my mother).
Well, I sat on the bench with two others, before I knew it, I got comfortable. It was breezy there and I soon began to appreciate the serenity around the area. The next moment, my friends were coming down and of course, just as you expected, they didn’t stop talking about how beautiful the lake was until we got back to school. One of them wouldn’t shut up about how crystal clear the water was and blah blah blah…
“Ayb, you should have come o”
“Don’t I know that? Do you have to put it in my face? arghhh!”

I didn’t make it up the next few steps to see the red cave and I actively blame the people who put the benches there for this. Who puts benches just before the destination? I had been walking all the way for more than an hour, up a hill, no benches; few minutes to the breakthrough, benches came. It would have been another story if I had ignored the benches like my other friends did or even if I had sat for just a short while. I sat all the while appreciating flowing water that I had seen a lot of times; butterflies that probably do not add value to my life. I missed the bigger picture and settled for less, just because it offered me a little comfort. This clearly explains why not everyone can be great. Why settle for beautiful when you can be gorgeous?

The worst aspect of this was that, I was too proud to admit that I shouldn’t have sat. When they came down talking about how beautiful the place is, I should have tried to catch a glimpse of the place. I should have told them I would catch them on the way down and pursued the reason I was there anyway. Now that I did not see it with my korokoro eyes, I can only believe the myths and legends behind the cave.
I didn’t and I may never have the opportunity to go the Crimea to see the red cave anymore. Even if there was no cave, I wouldn’t know.

In life, beware of those benches and the things that offer you less than you deserve. Beware of quitting just because it seems you have done a large work and you are yet to see the result. Beware of pride, it only makes you lose. Make sure you see the ‘Red Cave’; no matter how farther it seems to you; do not give up until you reach your destination.

That reminds me, I didn’t give up on the journey to the water fall. I saw it with my eyes in my socket and my advice is this “Do not go there when there is no rain; it looked to us as though someone stood at the peak and was pouring water from a bucket. My precious, hard earned 100grivs was gone in a jiffy. That is a classic example of a wasted effort.

I am Back!!!

The Stalker; The final episode

Published October 4, 2016 by drbeezle


Sade really wanted to know why Sam would do what he did. She had always seen him as simple and easy going. She had once described him as a butterfly; easygoing and hurts no one. But today, he stung like a bee; she stared at him through the bars and moved closer.
“Why? Why would you do that?” she whispered, but got no response. He seemed to be saying something so she moved even closer to the bars and could finally hear him
“We’ve met before, a long time ago”
“Sam! I met you just 3 years ago when I interviewed you”
“No, you didn’t. You met me 15 years ago, October 22 precisely. We met at a party in Ibadan, we were secondary school students. I asked for a dance and you agreed. We got drunk and you kissed me. The next day at school, I had told my friends you and I had clicked, that we had chemistry, they told me to prove it. I walked up to you and what did you do? You raised your voice and started shouting; you didn’t just deny me, you insulted me in front of the whole school. We were on the assemble ground and I remember you saying ‘Anybody who kisses you should be kidnapped, raped and killed’.
“Sam! So you looked for me for 15 years just because of some careless words I said”
“They were probably careless to you, but not to me. When I heard everyone laughing at how you disgraced me, I told myself I was going to make you beg. You said no man can make you beg. Well you did tonight.” He whispered. Sade moved forward, trying to hear Sam well, as her head was close enough to the bar; Sam reached forward and held her to the bars. Sade screamed for help, but before anyone could come to her rescue, Sam had bitten off her ear. He was trying to bite her in the neck when a police man entered into his cell and hit him until he released her and she fell into Kolapo’s waiting arms. She was immediately rushed to the hospital.

As the Honorable Judge gave his verdict on Sam’s case, relief flooded Sade’s heart. He was sentenced 14 years for attempted rape, 7 years for abducting her and 10 years for kidnapping Kolapo. Sade’s lawyer argued for attempted murder which would have earned him more years but his cunning lawyer talked it down to aggravated assault for which the judge gave him 43 years, bringing the total to 74 years imprisonment. He simply smiled after the judgment was passed. As he was being taken out of the court room, he stopped just in front of Sade and smiled. He quietly scanned the man standing beside her
“I see you finally chose to have a man, but what for? Protection?”  Sam laughed maniacally as he saw the fear on Sade’s face. “74 years, won’t stop me from fulfilling your wish my dear, neither can your soldier boyfriend.” He shouted as the guards whisked him away.
Sade shivered as the events of the last 8months passed through her mind. She absentmindedly stroked her scars, “I can’t go through all that again” she thought, since Sam was sentenced to almost 80 years in prison.
It was Morayo’s – Sade’s third child – 5th year birthday. Her first child, a 10year old girl, walked up to her and delivered a parcel. Sade dropped it amongst the other gift items. If anyone had told Sade few years back that she would fall in love and raise a family, she would have laughed them off. Yet here she is running around to make her daughter’s party pop. She was really enjoying managing being a family woman and a successful fashion designer. And now when those who knew are before asked, she would just say “The taste of the pudding is in the eating” that she would take her current life hundred times over
After sharing souvenirs and thanking everyone who came for the party, Sade suddenly stopped and fixed her gaze in one direction. Her husband, Kingsley had been talking to her for a few seconds but she didn’t respond. He shook her lightly.
“What is the problem Love?” he asked
“Nothing” Sade said smiling.
“I know you babe.” He pressed his forehead against Sade’s who finally let out a breath. “Talk to me”
“Don’t mind me baby, I just saw someone that reminded me of Sam”
“Sam is gone and dusted baby, you don’t have to worry about him anymore.” I thank God for Dr. Maxwell and how much help he’s been to you.
Later in the evening, everyone sat around Sade who had already started unwrapping the gifts. She picked the parcel her eldest child had given her earlier. She removed the wrapped it and found a Barbie set.
“Awwn it is the Barbie set you have been asking for. Today must be your lucky day.” She handed the card over to her 10year old who had been reading out the messages on the cards.
It read
“Happy birthday Jane! Your mother must be proud of you! However tell her, that I am yet to fulfill her promise, and I will. XoXo Sam”
Sade became frantic. She stood up and ran out of the house. Her husband immediately followed her.
“Was he here? Was Sam in my house? At my daughter’s party?
“Sade, please calm down, Sam is in prison. No way was he in our house”
“How do you know that? He could have escaped or something? Oh my God, after all these years, can’t this nightmare just stop for Christ sake?”
Her husband hugs her tight and whispers calming words into her hair
“Why don’t I give the detective a call and we’ll know for sure that all is well”
He then called the detective and told him what just happened, he promised to look into it ASAP
He led Sade inside and she immediately went to her children’s room, drawing comfort from the happiness in their walls.
The detective called back in 10 minutes and informed them that Sam was still in his prison cell
“He read about your daughter’s birth years ago and arranged to have the gift delivered. I’m very sorry for his disturbance. I have arranged with the guards at the prison to punish him for his prank. He will never try it again. Give my regards to your wife sir”
“Thank you very much Detective, I appreciate all you’ve done for my family”
“Just doing my job sir, take care”
When Kingsley gave her the news, she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Let’s go to our room honey”
“Can I please sleep in the kids’ bedroom tonight?” Sade asked
“Alright dear, I’m right next door if you need me”

Sade lay on her kids’ bed and looked up at the stars painted above and couldn’t help but thank her stars despite all that had happened. With thoughts of her lovely children on her mind, she drifted to sleep

The Stalker; Episode 3

Published September 20, 2016 by drbeezle


Different thoughts came flooding her mind. Her heart started racing again. Soon she heard the main door to her office slam shut. She ran so fast, knocking mannequins down; she made it to the workshop’s door and locked it. Then she moved the closest drawer for reinforcement. She walked back to the table, picked up her phone and sent the text messages.

There was a loud bang on the door. But she wouldn’t answer; she wouldn’t even breathe under the pile of clothes she had hid herself.
“Sade! Open up! It’s me Kolapo”
“Uncle K” she mouthed. She was excited. Rushed towards the door and opened it.
“Uncle K, thank God you are here.”
“Yea! I started coming just as I got your message, what is the problem”
Sade shifted back, and started slowly, away from Kolapo.
“What is the matter dear?” Kolapo asked, moving towards her
“I sent you a message, barely 5 minutes ago, and you are here already. Your house is about 30minutes from here” Kolapo paused, shinning a torch in Sade’s eyes
“I got your message about twenty five minutes ago; it was sent thirty minutes before I had the chance to read it” he walked closer to Sade, who had frozen.
“No! Don’t come near me” she screamed
He moved close to her and gave her a warm embrace “I can’t hurt you, you are my baby’s best friend” he brought out his phone and showed her the message. “
“I didn’t send you this message, this is not my number.”
There was a loud bang, then Kolapo fell. A figure, at least 6ft tall, was standing there, holding a rod. Sade tried to run, but he grabbed her hand before she could move, a gloved hand clamped her mouth before she could scream for help. He picked pieces of clothing off a desk and then gagged, blindfolded and tied her up even as she struggled. He hefted her over his powerful shoulders and dragged the unconscious Kolapo along. He dumped them both in the trunk of Sade’s car and drove off

As the blindfold on Sade’s face was removed, she saw a tall masked man walking away from her. He settles on a chair and pours wine into a glass. Kolapo’s groans drew Sade’s attention as he came to. He tried moving but the masked man had securely tied his hands and legs.
The man walked to the chair in which Sade was sitting, sat on the edge and stroked her face. He removed the gag from her mouth and she immediately shouted for help; the masked man didn’t move a finger, he simply laughed at her.
“Conserve you energy my dear. Where we are, nobody can hear you” The voice sounded familiar. Sade shifted her face from the man’s alcohol breath, but he bent closer.
“What do you want from me? I have money! Just release us please. My friend is heavily pregnant and this is her husband. She cannot afford to be worried” Sade pleaded.
“I know everything about you. How else do you think I got him here, despite his “intelligence” I have this all planned out Sade” He pointed in Uncle K’s direction “Even him”
The groans from Kolapo became louder. The masked man went to him and removed his gag.
“Something on your mind?” He asked Kolapo sarcastically.
“Oh yes! You can’t get away with this.” Kolapo spat on the floor beside him “You think I don’t know who you are?”
The masked man mocked him for a minute and said
“Well, well, well, look who wants to make this interesting. Why don’t we play a game? He maniacally threw his hands in the air “Let’s call it “WHO AM I?” He walked back towards Sade’s chair, sat on the edge again, this time he pulled on Sade’s hair. “If you correctly guess who I am, I will remove my mask and call the police myself, you have just 3 guesses and which each wrong guess, I get to do what I want to Sade” He bent close to Sade’s face and licked it. Sade wriggled violently. “I’m sure you can imagine one or two things”
“I am not interested in your dirty games; I just want to go home.” She begged, but the masked man shouted “You think you have a choice???”
“If you don’t play the game, Kolapo dies, if you lose the game after 3 guesses, you both will die. Those are my rules, let the game begin”
“Kolapo, please” Sade begged.
“Don’t worry Sade, it will be alright, we’ll get home safe” Kolapo reassured Sade.
“Enough of this rubbish” The masked man shouted “Let’s play!”
He walked to Kolapo, picked him from the floor and sat him on a chair. “This is so you can see clearly, I mean when I rape her.” The masked man then dropped some objects on the stool beside Kolapo.
“Once you lose, I will skin you alive!” He dragged a chair to the middle of the room, faced them and ordered Kolapo to guess. Sade threw Kolapo a long sad face. He was fairly certain he knew who the masked man was but he had to think twice before blurting it out; not knowing what would happen after.
Kolapo took a good look at the masked man, who had stood up to get more wine; he studied his gait and posture. He took a fast look at the materials on the stool, he saw a scalpel. He quickly bent his body, toward it, in an attempt to pick it, while the man poured himself a glass. He bent as far as he could, but the scalpel was just so far. He reached further, the rope cutting into his skin, he finally picked it. However it dropped on his chair behind him.
“I said play” The masked man shouted. Kolapo took a long deep breath. His heart beat was so loud; he thought Sade heard as she threw him a curious face.
“I know who you are, just promise that if I am right, you would be true enough to agree and unmask yourself” Kolapo pleaded. The man laughed and then nodded in agreement.
“It is you Sam, Sade’s manager” Kolapo said
“What?” Sade turned towards Kolapo
“Why are you playing with my life Kola?” she then turned towards the masked man who had stood and was walking towards her “Sir, please don’t mind him! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about! I’m begging you”
The masked man wouldn’t listen. He dragged her up from the chair towards the table. Sade screamed, struggling harder as she was being pulled.
“Why don’t you even tell me if I was wrong?” Kolapo shouted, but got no response. The masked man dragged Sade to the table, and tied her legs apart. He then took a pair of scissors and cut her clothes open. He whistled when the clothes were off, slowly turning to show Kolapo what he was seeing.
“You lose!” He shouted, but Kolapo was not on the chair anymore. Shocked, he looked around, but didn’t see him. He bent to pick the knife on table, but before he could get up, Kolapo hit him twice on the head with a rod.
Kolapo, picked the knife from the masked man, and cut Sade loose. She quickly got up, wrapped her torn clothes around herself and ran towards the door, but he wasn’t following her. She stopped and called out to Kolapo who was busy trying to tie the man up.
“Kolapo, what are you doing?”
“Wouldn’t you want to know who he is?” He replied.
“No!” she screamed, “I just want to get out of this place.”
Kolapo ignored her; she sighed. She saw that he wouldn’t leave until he was satisfied, so she joined him. They both tied him up and Sade became lightheaded as Kolapo removed the mask on the man’s face. It was Sam!
This whole time, it was Sam that was stalking her? Her mind was reeling as she couldn’t imagine why. She surely had been nice to him all along. Why?
Kolapo lifted Sam’s body and headed to the door.
“What are you doing? And how did you know it was Sam” Sade asked.
“I am doing the same thing he did to us, just that he will wake up at the station.” He turned to face the frail Sade, “Don’t just stand there, pick up his phone and take pictures. We need them as evidence when we report to the station. Sade quickly did so and hurried to unlock the trunk of her vehicle for Kolapo, who dumped the body inside and drove off.
“How did you know it was Sam?” Sade asked again, but Kolapo ignored her as earlier.
“Let us call the police, just so we will be covered, I will call some of my colleagues and…”
“Answer me!” Sade demanded, cutting Kolapo’s conversation short. “Ok”
“Ok what?”
“Ok, I will tell you.” He paused as though trying to arrange his thoughts. “Well, the message he sent to me, was sent with a number he had used to call me before which I stored it in his name. When I saw the message, I thought you both were in danger so I came down to your office. As soon as he removed my blindfold, I was almost sure he was the one”
Sade was amazed at how calm Kola was under pressure, while she couldn’t even think straight, he was able to think things through, discover the man behind the mask, get himself free and saved them both. And for the first time in a long time, she caught herself thinking about having a man like him. About how different her life could be if she did, would she work so hard, would she have kids. The journey to the station was quiet and filled with introspection.
As Kolapo drove into the station, some of his friends had brought Sade a dress to wear and was quickly escorted into the station, while Kolapo waited behind, to get Sam out of the booth. With the help of his friends, they lifted Sam, who had regained his consciousness out of the trunk and dropped him on the floor. He yelped from the effect of the drop. If not for the police officer present, they would have really kicked him around. The officer took him in and they all gave their statements
Sade really wanted to know why Sam would do what he did. She had always seen him as simple and easy going. She had once described him as a butterfly; easygoing and hurts no one. But today, he didn’t float like one, he stung like a bee; she stared at him through the bars and moved closer.
“Why? Why would you do that?” she whispered, but got no response. He seemed to be saying something so she moved even closer to the bars and could finally hear him
“We’ve met before; a long time ago”

The stalker Episode 2

Published September 9, 2016 by drbeezle


The beep of her phone disrupted her focus on her manager’s PowerPoint presentation. She picked her phone to read the message she received.
“You can run, you can’t hide”
The past weekend suddenly flashed in her mind. Her heart started racing then she couldn’t breathe. She stood up abruptly from the meeting and rushed out. Her whole crew followed her, but stopped at her door as she had slammed them out of her office. She opened her bag, and picked out her inhaler. She puffed and took a deep breath. A thousand thoughts flooded her mind as she sank in her chair. Her face suddenly became hot, followed by a shower of tears. Her stomach rumbled so much, she dropped her inhaler on the table and rushed into the bathroom.
She washed her face and went back to her seat but wouldn’t sit. She decided to take a stroll around her office. She paced to and fro; trying to figure who it would be if this were a prank. “Could it be pranks? The incidence last weekend couldn’t have been a prank obviously.” She caught herself saying out loud
There was a loud thump on the door, this made her heart leap, as though making its way out through her throat. She turned to see the door slowly open; the more the door opened, the wider her eyes opened. She moved back, slowly as the door opened more.  She reached close to her antique table and picked up a vase. Finally the door opened enough to let a huge shadow in. There was absolute silence; she held her breath for a few seconds. The sight of a leg entering her office propelled her to almost throw her weapon.
“Hey Hey! It is just me” the squeaky voice of her production manager could not be mistaken.
“Oh it’s you Sam.”
“Yes it is me; I was just wondering why you left like that. Is everything ok? We are very worried …”
“Hope everyone is back to their work posts” Sade interrupted the svelte man who seemed a bit too worried. In his 5 years of working with Sade, he had never seen her that way. She looked frail and scared; he wouldn’t just let that pass.
“They are back, but what is the problem”
“Nothing” She said walking up to Sam. She gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I am just a bit sick, that is all.”
“Would you then take the day off and go home? I am sure I can handle things here while you get some rest.” Sam smiled. He had never seen Sade take a rest since they started working together. Even while on vacation, she takes work along.
“Nah!” she waved the option off “I will be fine, I just need time alone.”
“Alright then” Sam gave up and walked towards the door “We will just continue working till you are ready.”
Just as Sam’s hand held the door he heard Sade’s words; she was thanking him in the most subtle way ever. He turned and gave her a warm smile, opened the door and stepped out.
Series of thoughts ran through Sade’s mind. Should she call the number back, or report to the police? The second option felt too drastic a measure. What if it’s a friend playing pranks; “another episode of pranks gone wrong” she had said that out loud and escorted it with a giggle. She felt light; she couldn’t feel her heart beat anymore, the sweat on her face had dried. She wasn’t as scared as she was anymore. She walked into her bathroom and headed towards the wash hand basin.
“Mirror Mirror, show me my ugly sweaty face” she said as she slowly lifted her head to look into the mirror. Her makeup was smudged; the sweat had produced deep tracks through the layers of her foundation.
“Why do we girls have plenty wahala self?” she asked the mirror, as though awaiting an answer, she stared at her reflections for few seconds. Once she got no reply, she opened the tap and washed her face then looked into the mirror once again, this time admiring herself.
“I bet I am more beautiful without makeup sef” She said. She raised her brow, turned her face from side to side, giving herself an assured look from every angle. She smiled, giggled and pouted.
“Sorry mirror, I definitely need my Ruby Woo” she wiped her face and applied a thick coat of her matte lipstick; She brushed her lips against each other; her signature ruby woo smile came up and she felt her personality jump back into her.
“That’s my girl” She gave her reflection a wink. She walked into her office, picked up her phone and replied the message.
“Screw You!!! Once you are done playing your games, let me know who you are. BTW if you think you can scare me, it isn’t working! Douche bag!”
The message tone from her phone made her heart leap. She picked it, opened it and figured it was just a delivery report. Her beating heart slowly calmed down, she took a deep breath and walked out of her office.

Her presence in her Sade’s Fashion Hall put all gossips to a halt; each worker scampering to find their way to their work posts. They expected her to scold them, but she didn’t. She simply walked to the centre of the hall and addressed her work force. The hall was silent, each worker paying maximum attention to what she had to say.
“You all can say all you want, you have the freedom to, but whoever doesn’t finish their work before closing time, will be spending the night alone in this place. If I were you, I would stop bothering myself about somebody else’s problems and face my work”
She walked down the hall to her work table. “There you are!” Her eyes widened as she moved close to the mannequin by her table.
“Aren’t you looking beautiful already.” She wasn’t crazy but she was talking to the mannequin wearing the senator’s dress. “Just the finishing touch and you are good to go! I love my job” She exclaimed and started working.
She was soon buried in her work that she didn’t realize it was past ten at night. Her slowest but meticulous worker, Taiye, had just told her that he was done working and he was ready to go.
“What time is it Taiye?” she asked the chubby young man in his late twenties.
“Aunty, it is five minutes past ten o’clock”
“Alright then, just go, I will lock up once I am done with this piece.
“Should I wait for you aunty?” the caring Taiye asked.
“No Taiye! Your wife will be worried; I am fine.” she waved him good night. The young man walked out of the door and shut it behind him.
Sade stood up to close the window; it had become really cold suddenly. She walked through the hall, inspecting the dressed mannequins. She smiled at Taiye’s work, it was perfect.
“Taiye is slow, but he gets the work done right, unlike Moni. What is this she has done now? She will come and meet me here tomorrow.” She said to herself.
She saw something move; she turned back and inspected the room, but saw nothing. Her eyes were playing tricks on her again. She had moved a few steps and this time she could swear by her mother’s name that she saw a shadow. She turned swiftly but there was nothing.
“It is time to go Sade” she whispered to herself, as though preventing whatever it was from hearing her. She walked briskly to her chair, picked up her phone to dial her friend’s number, but she wouldn’t pick up. She then tried uncle K’s line, but he didn’t pick up too. She started typing a message…
“Something strange, I am at work. Come if you can, i…” The lights went off interrupting her typing. She waited for her standby generator which refused to come up. She gently dropped her phone on the table and walked backwards, inspecting the room as she moved.
Different thoughts came flooding her mind. Her heart started racing again. Soon she heard the main door to her office slam shut. She ran so fast, knocking mannequins down; she made it to the workshop’s door and locked it with a key. Then she moved the closest drawer to block it. She walked back to the table, picked up her phone and sent the text messages.

The Stalker- E1

Published August 29, 2016 by drbeezle


The hallway was dark and uneasily quiet. This will not be the first time Sade would be closing late from work. She loves her job, but ultimately, she is single and had never thought of getting married.
“Getting married is imprisonment for me.” She usually tells anybody who cares to listen. She used this phrase so much; her friends usually completed her statements.
“I am unapologetically beautiful, undoubtedly attractive and exceedingly successful. Trust me getting a man is not such a hard task, I just don’t want a man. I love my job; if I had a man I was obliged to, I won’t be this successful” she vaingloriously replied a nosy blogger, who had been writing stuff about her.
Sade made more headlines for being a single woman at forty than being one of Nigeria’s top fashion designers. She didn’t seem to care about the comments passed at and about her; she would simply laugh and tell them to get a life.
“Once I am done with Kelly and her bride’s maids’ dresses, I would take a vacation.” She soliloquized as she kept walking down the lonely hallway.
She stopped suddenly and looked back. She could swear she heard footsteps, but there was nothing. Must be her mind playing on her. She turned and kept walking. Suddenly,she felt a cool breeze blow in her face; she developed a bad feeling about the hall way. She started to remember scenes from the horror movies she had seen. It felt so real, the hair on her body stood, her heart was now racing. It was past 11PM and she was alone; she increased her pace but stopped after taking about five steps. She reached into her hand bag and brought out her Samsung phone and her car keys. She slipped her bunch into her ring finger, and held the phone in her other hand. She switched the torch on as fast as possible and took a good look around. There was nobody; everywhere was dead quiet. She turned back, vigilantly looking around; she bent slowly to pull her 8inches-heeled pumps then started walking again. With each step, she took a deeper breath and gradually increased her pace. Before she knew it she was running fast.
As soon as she sighted her Red Toyota RAV4, which apparently was the only car in the Lot, she started pressing her remote. The door whistled open; she rushed close, grabbed the handle from like miles away, sat in quick and dumped her things on the passenger side. Took her a while to get the key into the ignition; her fingers were cold and shaking. She held her right hand with her left and guided the key into the ignition. As soon as the car came roaring on, she zoomed off.
She had driven few kilometers and was now on the major road. She felt relieved. She took a deep breath which magically slowed down her racing heart. She slowed the car down and reminisced on what had happened earlier. She burst into laughter; “That could have been a cat, you silly!” she said to herself and soon got engaged in another bout of laughter.
She reached for her car tape, switched it on, her favourite song was on; Jamb question by Simi, had been on replay for the past one week. Soon she sang along but didn’t forget her fears. Each time a car was moving too fast, or a bike was riding along, she became very suspicious.
She was just about six houses from her house, when her mind replayed everything that had happened that night. As much has she hated fear, she couldn’t really fight it. She parked her Jeep and picked her phone to place a call across to her best friend.
“Hello Kemi, how far?” Sade spoke into the phone as her friend picked the call after about five trials.
“I dey o, why are you calling me this late na, Sade?” Kemi asked
“I am on my way to your place now; I will give you the details when I come around”
“My husband is…”
Sade hung up. She made a quick U-turn and headed towards Kemi’s, which was just three streets away.

Immediately after the first Honk, the guard opened the gate for Sade to drive in. She parked her car and walked towards the front porch where the pregnant Kemi was standing.
“Sade what is the problem today?” Kemi asked in a shushed voice, trying not to wake her husband. They both hugged and walked into the living room. As soon as they got in, Sade rushed to the kitchen, opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of water. She drank the water as though her life depended on it. She poured some more, then walked back to the living room, where Kemi was now standing with her husband, Kolapo.
“Oh sorry I woke you, Uncle K. I didn’t even know you were around.” She apologized.
“Hope you are fine o, Sade.” Kolapo asked as he motioned for a hug from Sade, who seemed really exhausted. They hugged and then sat. The couple listened with interest as Sade narrated all that had happened at work.
“I figured it won’t be safe to stay alone in my house was why I called Kemi. I didn’t know you would be at home.”
“Well it is alright. I am travelling tomorrow, so I need to catch some sleep now.” Kolapo stood up and walked towards the room. He suddenly turned and asked Sade what she was doing at work so late.
“I was working on a client’s bridals” Sade replied.
“You shouldn’t be staying out that late, you are a woman and you stay alone. You need to be more careful” He said sternly and waved goodnight.
The two chattered for about an hour about the men that made passes at Sade the past week.
“If I were you, I would try going out with that Ken, he seems like a cool guy.” Kemi tried her luck again. She was tired of her friend being single. She was enjoying marital life and thinks Sade needs such an experience.

The beep of her phone disrupted her focus on her manager’s PowerPoint presentation. She picked her phone to read the message she received.
“You can run, you can’t hide”


See you next week.

Mean Brides

Published August 24, 2016 by drbeezle


Warning! This piece contains some Nigerian words that cannot be expressed in pure English! Apologies to my non-Nigerian readers!

Here is a close to perfect scenario you would understand if you are Nigerian. I can’t really say if it is the same in other countries, but I am pretty sure, every Nigerian that has been to an ‘Owambe’ at least once or twice, can relate. 
So here we are, all dressed in flamboyant fluorescent blue lace wears and some artistically mounted aboniki yellow head ties. We have come to celebrate Bukola and Bayo; don’t mind that you didn’t see us in church, what is important is that we are at the reception, wearing our Aso Ebi. We are done eating; now we are waiting for the small chops and the couple now (Please note the interest is more in the small chops than the couple. Suddenly we all start standing up; we do not know who initiated it, but yeah! We stand.  We are now staring expectantly at the door, waiting for something to come through the door (The grand waiter maybe).  Oh I remember, we are waiting for the couple.
The duo walks/ dances in, but the light shines from above only on the chosen one, The Bride. She is so beautiful that nobody notices the set of people that first danced through the door, The Bride’s Maids, except of course in some exceptional cases (when your maids have more action than you). I have been privileged to be a part of many bridal trains (you can call me assorted maid!) and trust me it’s not an easy job. If you have been on one, may be a very bad one you will understand my pain in writing this. 
Please answer this question sincerely, is it a crime for bride’s maids to be beautiful too? I think it is, because if it isn’t, why do they almost always buy *usually make* ridiculously ugly dresses for us??? These dresses, they usually don’t show them to us before the wedding day. They just bring it out like hours to the wedding so we won’t get to protest. Come to think of it, we pay really high prices for being on your train; the least we can get is a good look and lots of attention from the groom’s men. You my dear mean brides are taken, how about you allow others to find their own Ruths amongst the maids.
Secondly, after dressing us like the direct translation of what my favorite friend says in Yoruba ( sorry the words cannot be on this blog site, check another), the least you can do is transport us to the venue. I really don’t get why they do this, one in three brides forget their train at home. I can’t really place if it is out of excitement or poor organization. I remember I travelled 4 hours by road, risking my life, for a wedding. The dress was freaking ugly and we had to tie horrible scarves (I wish I could attach some of the pictures); that isn’t the bad part brethren, the bride left us in her father’s house, some family members hijacked the vehicle meant for the train and we were left stranded in a strange land. I had to beg my aunt’s driver to drive about seven grown ladies in a small salon car. Exasperating part is that the bride didn’t even notice we were missing in action, as we were around before the need to lead her into church.
It’s a wonder how we dance so hard, trying to keep the newly wedded couple and their guests happy at the reception. Yet, 1 in 2 brides forget to tell their wedding planners that the bridal train will need seats, food and drinks when everyone settles down. We finish dancing the couple to their seats, and we get no seat, or we hustle for seats and we get no food. I remember on one occasion, after we complained about food, this annoying waiter brings plates of rice with pieces of meat designed with teeth and knife tracks. If I had worn my Ankara dress jejely, shebi I would have eaten well at least…
I understand dear Mean brides that you have a lot to do and plan for, but these people are a part of your wedding plans. I repeat this to ‘planning-to-be-Mean brides’ your bridal train is a part of your wedding plans. I know it is your wedding day and most of the attention should be on you, but don’t forget that your bridal train appears in your pictures too. If they are ugly, your pictures will come out ugly. But I must also warn you, not all ugly dresses look beautiful even after edits!
Dear Husband, prevent your wifey from entering the mean brides’ list, provide this ladies with really handsome groom’s men who can speak politely and mingle smoothly, not perverts that can’t differentiate between a wedding and a club. Make sure you remind her to choose beautiful dresses and accessories for her maids. Don’t forget them in church, and remember they get hungry and tired too. If you cannot afford to give them first class treatment, which is ideal, give them something close. They are maids by name, not by profession! Never forget that…

(Watch this space for the series “The Stalker” every weekend for the next 4 weeks starting THIS week!)

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